About Jeff

UPDATE: (January 2008)

We realize that Jeff's retirement has left a gaping hole in your life. For non-kill related Jeff coverage, we have created a new blog: JeffTheGiantOrangeCat.com. We hope to see you there.

UPDATE: (December 2007)

After Jeff had spent about a year in our yard, the neighbors who claimed ownership of him moved away. A couple of months later it was time for us to move too, and we took Jeff with us hoping he would join the inside kitties.

To our amazement, Jeff instantly became an inside kitty. He immediately used the litter box with no problem, and for several weeks seemed to completely forget there was an outside. Now Jeff does demand occasional visits outside, which are supervised. He usually sits quietly for awhile, then suddenly becomes possessed and shoots up the tree in the middle of the yard. When possible, he also stalks the lizards and gophers.

Since he's spending almost all his time inside, this amounts to a semi-retirement for Jeff. He got a clean bill of health from the vet, and with the best guess at his age being 9 or so Jeff should have a good long while to lounge around living the good life. Sooner or later though, he will probably catch one of those gophers in the yard - and if he does, we'll document it here in our customary horrible way, and you shouldn't look at it.

Jeff the Cat

Jeff the Cat

Jeff the Cat

BACKGROUND:

Jeff is a large orange tomcat that lives and kills in Shadow Hills, CA.

Jeff adopted our back porch and yard as his home. He uses our dog's house when it rains, but mostly he likes to sleep on our patio chairs and keep watch over his domain.

Though he doesn't really belong to us, we provide Jeff with food and water; however, this does little to lessen his killer instinct. To humans, Jeff is an exceptionally good-tempered and friendly cat; to rodents and other small animals, he is death itself.

It could be that Jeff likes to bring us gifts to repay our hospitality. Perhaps he is simply a hardwired killing machine. All we know for certain is that he hunts down a wide variety of small animals and disembowels, decapitates, and dines on them. Often.

GALLERY:

Click here for more pictures of Jeff.

JEFF'S NICKNAMES:

1) El Jefe
2) Mr. Jeff
3) Jefferson
4) Jeffersonian
5) Jeff the Ripper (credit to Citizen Insane on somethingawful.com)
6) MC Fluffer Kitty
7) Jefferson Airplane

FAQ:

Q) Is Jeff neutered?
A) Yes, Jeff is neutered. No change in his coin purse.

Q) Do you help Jeff kill things?
A) We absolutely do not have any role in Jeff's kills. We take pictures of what he brings to our back porch, if and when he brings it. That's it.

Q) What is the point of this site? Why would you put these pictures online?
A) We had this huge cat that kept bringing his catches to our back door all the time. Weird events warranting documentation, in our opinion, for ourselves and a few associates. With zero effort on our part, it became a bit popular.

Q) What kind of camera do you use?
A) Usually a Canon S45, occasionally a Digital Rebel.

Q) I love your site, can I PayPal you some money?
A) We are simultaneously flattered and mystified. If you really, really, really want to you can send Jeff something from his Amazon Wish List.

Q) Is Jeff on MySpace?
A) The Staff of WhatJeffKilled.com apologizes for its egregious error of not realizing earlier that Jeff should be on MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/whatjeffkilled.

Q) Should I send you e-mail about how horrible you and your site are?
A) If you ignored the clear disclaimer on the home page, clicked through to the pictures and got yourself all upset, please consider the following:
- According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, in In 2006, 33.9 million U.S. residents 16 years old and older went fishing and/or hunting, including 4.8 million who hunted small game such as rabbits and squirrels.
- According to The Humane Society of the United States, each year 10 billion land animals are raised and killed annually by the meat, egg, and dairy industries. Despite the incredible number of individuals and the routine suffering too many endure, these farm animals do not receive protection under the federal Animal Welfare Act. Moreover, 95 percent of the animals slaughtered each year do not receive protection under the federal Humane Methods of Slaughter Act. Overwhelmingly, farm animalsí lives and deaths are filled with abuses that would be illegal if inflicted on those animals we consider companions.
Now that you have validated your priorities, if you would like to write to us to make sure we know you ignored our clearly stated warning that no one should ever look at our site, looked anyway, and offended yourself, please go ahead.

CONTACT:

Questions and comments may be sent to: staff@whatjeffkilled.com

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